Rule 1: Don't Carry Any GUNS!!!
Never, ever carry out a gun if you are going out. Just leave it at home. From Stephen Jackson outside a night club, to Shaun Rogers having a loaded gun in his suitcase, to Plaxico Burress this has cost many athletes dearly. Nothing comes good out of mixing guns with men, alcohol, money, and drugs. Nothing.
Rule 2: Make Sure No One Else Has GUNS!!!
Not only must you make sure you don't bring a gun, but that no one else does either. This includes your entourage. You don't want a fight to get out hand, because one of your "boys" pulled a hand gun out of his hoody and decided to take on things by himself. This is never good!
Rule 3: Don't Go To a Situation You Know is Bad
This goes hand in hand with the first two rules. If you know there is a place where trouble exists don't go to it. If you feel you need to bring a gun to a certain place, than that's not a place to go to. If you don't like a certain teammate and he's going to be somewhere you are than just stay away. Go to places where fear and trouble don't exsist.
Rule 4: Don't Mouth Off to Cops
This is a hard one not only for athletes, but anyone who has had a little too much to drink. The fact is you may think a Cop is in the wrong, but the fact is they are the LAW. And 99% of the time they can get away with whatever they want. It's not fair, but that's life. Most cops don't care if you are a millionare. KO Simpson, formerly of the Buffalo Bills, learned this the hard way when he started yelling he was a "Buffalo Bill" and that "I'm a Millionare" to try to get out of trouble. Not going to work. Fighting cops will just lead you to being arrested, and perhaps even worse. Ask Donte "Taser" Whitner how a taser feels at 3 a.m.
Donte "Taser" Whitner did not know when to shut up.
Rule 5: Be as Low Key as PossibleI understand you are a professional athlete. But seriously try to keep as low of a profile as possible. Don't introduce yourself into the club. Don't wear your jersey, or something so obvious that points out to everyone who you are. Don't let the DJ get on the loud speakers and say your name to everyone in the building. Try your hardest to blend in your surrounding environment and look like everyone else.
Rule 6: No Sweatpants
This can be reffered to as the Plaxico Burress rule. Plax had his gun in his sweatpants, which moved around and caused him to shoot himself in the leg. The fact is whether its your wallet, phone, gun, whatever, anything that is in sweatpant pockets can be easily lost, which can possibly cause catastrophic probles. Plus it just looks bad. Your a professional athlete your above wearing sweatpants to a club. At least wear jeans!
Rule 7: Have a Ride Set Up in Advance to Take You Home
Charles Barkley, Carmelo Anthony, Ronnie Brown, Roscoe Parrish, and Rey Maualuga are just a few of many athletes who have had DUI's. It's one thing for a broke high school or college did to get a DUI. It's a completely different story for a proffessional athlete to get a DUI. You are millionares. Have a driver take you around. Or pay one of your entourgage members not to drink. Or pay for a cab, limo, anything. But don't get behind of the wheel drunk. This is not acceptable, considering all the recourses and alternatives available to you to get home safely.
Rule 8: Entourage-Is There To Protect You, Not to Glam up to You
This is a very underated, but very important rule. Look every athlete is going to have an entourage. It comes with the territory. But what type of entourage will you have. Will you have one that protects you, or one that is just looking to try to be in the lime light with you. I know I said I would not involve college athletes in these rules, but I am going to make one exception for this rule. Tim Tebow. Word in Florida was that when Tim Tebow went out he had his entourage protect him from anything and everything. Whether it's be booze, women looking to take advantage of him, drugs, whatever, when Tebow went to a place, and this place had these things the entourage did everything in their power to remove these things and protect Tebow. Tebow's legacy was on the line and the entourage knew this and protected it. The complete opposite is the bodyguard entourage Ben Roethlisberger had with him in Milledgeville, Georgia last March. That entourage allowed Big Ben to go into the bathroom with that woman, and allowed Big Ben to take pictures with any women, any guy, and the police. Overall it just looked really bad. It does not seem this entourage was looking out for the best interests of Big Ben, but instead just wanted to shine with him. This is not the entourage you want. So be very careful in who you choose to be a part of your entourage.
Big Ben's entourage of bodyguards did not have his best interest that faithful night in Georgia.
Rule 9: Don't Throw Cash in the Air and Expect to Get it BackCall this the Pac-Man Jones Rule. In 2007, during NBA All Star Weekend in Las Vegas, Pac-Man threw a thousand dollars worth of single dollars in the air in the strip club. It was all fun and good. Naturally the other people at the strip club went after the money. This is where the trouble started. Pac-Man was not cool with this and soon his entourage was fighting another entourage and gun shots were fired. Subsequently one of the strip club security guards was shot and paralyzed from the waist down. Pac-Man was suspeneded for the 2007 NFL season and has done nothing since. So the lesson is this. Do not "Make it Rain" with money at a club unless you are being charitable. Even then you are breaking rule #5. So it's best to just leave your money in your wallet.
Rule 10: Be Classy
This is a very important rule. When you are out, whether it'd be a bar, casino, club, mall, wherever you need to present yourself well to the public. You need to show class. This is something Tiger Woods failed to do, and is a big reason why he's hated by so many now. Tiger is known as being cheap. He will tip as little as he can, or not all. Will not treat others. Reportedly, he took one of his mistresses to Subway and bought her a $5 footlong for her. Now I like $5 footlongs, but even I could do a little better than that on a date. At least take her to Applebees. I know you don't want people to think you are having an affair, but you can at least act professional and make it seem like a business meeting. No one would have no the difference. But Subway? That's lame! And Tiger reportedly would not even give another one of his mistresses $250 when she was in a financial bind. So if any of these ladies tried to get with Tiger to be a "Gold Digger", they couldn't even "pinch pennies" out of the guy. Now I don't mean to make this all about Tiger. But Tiger's cheapness is so blatant it is the gold standard of this rule. Had Tiger had treated his mistresses and the people he associated with at bars, clubs, and casinos better than when "the shit hit the fan" in the last 5-6 months it probably would not have been as bad for him. Probably some of the mistresses would kept it private, and less stories about his cheapness and his rude behavior would have come out. If you are classy to people when you go out, than if bad things happen you can expect to get some protection. Tiger recieved no protection, because he had no class.
This is not the classiest way to treat a girl. Especially if you are a guy like Tiger Woods
Rule 11: No Illegal Drugs in a Public SettingLook I'm not going to pretend that professional athletes don't take illegal drugs. They do. Whether it be steriods, cocaine, marajuna, or God knows what else athletes will do what it takes to get a high. Now I'm not saying for professional athletes not to take illegal drugs. That's not realistic. But what I am saying is just do it in the privacy of your own home or hotel room. The longer you leave it in the car the worse it could get. If you are pulled over you are screwed. If you do it at a casino, bar, or any other open public establishment than you are really asking for it. And if you are stupid enough to try to hide it a secret compartment at the airport (Michael Vick-water bottle) than you are just really stupid. Just take what ever drug it is and do it with your "boys" at the Crib or in the Hotel room with the door locked, and the opening under the door sealed. Better to be safe than sorry. And also don't let any pictures go off while this is going on. That's the mistake Michael Phelps made.
Rule 12: Bathroom is for Washing Up, No.1, No.2, and Vomiting if you are Sick...That's It!!!
Call this the "Ben Roethlisberger" Rule. At that Georgia night club, a month ago, Big Ben brought a young female into a bathroom stall to perform sexual acts. This is a big NO NO!!! Whether you are Big Ben, or any other athlete just take the girl back to your crib, or the hotel room, or even the car. But not the bathroom! Come on you are better than that. This goes along with rule number 10. Even the VIP room would be better than the bathroom. As the rule states the bathroom is for washing up, No.1, No.2, and Vomiting if you are sick. For God's sake that is it.
When you are a professional athlete you can do much better than having sex in a men's bathroom.
Rule 13: Have a Money Limit Set for the Night
This is a very important rule for your long term financial status. The fact is in the four major sports a majority, yes a Majority of athletes are going broke when their professional careers are over. Whether it'd be Scottie Pippen, Allen Iverson, Evander Holyfield, or Mike Tyson more and more athletes are going broke. 80% of NFL players flirt or file for bankruptcy two years after they retire. For NBA players 60% go broke 5 years after they retire. So be careful with your money. When you go out at night have a limit set on your money you can spend. This is true for the bars, clubs, and ESPECIALLY the casino. Don't gamble your way to debt like Iverson and Antoine Walker did. Walker lost $100 million dollars, mostly gambling it away. So know if you are lucky enough to gamble with Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods that they have far more money than you do. So don't be afraid to not bet the amount, or spend the amount those two do. That's the mistake Walker made. High rolling over his worth. Spend within your means each and every night. Because understand you will not be making millions forever.
Rule 14: Drinks are for Drinking...That's It!!!
Santonio Holmes allegedly threw a drink at a women weeks ago and was one of the final straws the Steelers had (along with his drug suspension) that lead him to get traded to the Jets. This is stupid. If you get a drink either A.) Drink It, or B.) Give it to someone else to drink it. Don't throw it at somone, or throw the glass on the ground in frustration. These are just moves that are beyond stupidity and require no further explanation.
Rule 15: If a Woman Disses You Just Move On
You are a professional athlete. If a women says no to you, or says something misguided than move on. You can find another "10" out there. Don't let it get to you. Don't you dare hit or slap the women. That's a NO, NO! And don't throw a drink at the girl's face like Santonio Holmes allegedly did. Just move on to the next one.
Rule 16: If a Fan Birates You Let it Go or Let Your Entourage Take Care Of It
It does not matter how good you are. You could be Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, and Usain Bolt all combined in one. Their will always be a hater out there. So when you walk into the club, bar, casino, even the grocery store they will be ready to birate you. Don't let it get to you. Don't try to start an argument with the fan, because that will get you nowhere. Don't go after the fan in a violent matter. That's just stupid. Either walk away, or allow your entourage ,or those in charge of the establishment you are at, to "kindly" remove the fan. But don't get involved personally, and no matter what they say let it go. You are a professional athlete. You are better than them.
Rule 17: If Your "Boys" Get into a Fight Stay Out of It
This is a hard rule for anyone to follow, let alone an athlete. The fact is if you are out with your "boys" a lot, then at some point a fight will happen. Other people drink, and other people are jealous of you. It's bound to happen. But when it happens to one of your "boys" you need to stay out. You need to let them figure it out. You may feel bad, you may feel like woose, and your "boys" may think you did not have your back. But if your "boys" can not understand the position you are in as an athlete, and how this would not be a good idea for you to get into a fight, than you need to find a new set of your "boys" who will understand this. It's crucial for you to understand this.
Rule 18: If You are Married Know People Will Talk
Obviously this rule only applies to those professional athletes you are married. So know if you are going to go out and in a public setting physically go after other women in a sexual way no that people will talk. Whether you are A-Rod in Toronto or Tiger Woods in Las Vegas know that it will be only a matter of time before what you are doing hits the tabloids and newspapers. So be careful at your own risk.
Rule 19: If You Lose a Game, and Go Out Later That Night Be Very Careful
Look I am not saying if you lose that you can't go out. I understand that some athletes after a tough loss just need to head to the bar, and have a couple of drinks to get over the tough loss. But know that if you do this you can get crap from fans who see you. This is what caused Jimmy Clausen to get a black eye following the loss to UCONN. And look it's one thing to have a drink at the bar after a loss. But don't you dare go to the night club and start dancing around, and having a party after a devastating loss. Then you are really asking for trouble, and honestly rightfully so.
Rule 20: If Shit Goes Down Be Honest, Dishonesty will Catch Up to You in the Long Run
If something bad happens it is so easy to lie about it when people find out about it. Athletes think if they can hide what they did, and deny it than they are of big enough stature to get away with it. That may have been true 30 years ago. But in the TMZ world we live in today that's completely far from the truth. Michael Vick, and Plaxico Burress learned this the hard way. Vick lied to everyone, the Virginia police, the FBI, the media, and Roger Goodell when the dogfighting ring first broke. Soon though the evidence came out, and it was very clear Vick knew and participated in these dog fights. Vick was caught in his own lies, and it cost him extra time behind bars, and a suspension from the NFL before he could play again. It also cost him millions, and hurt his reputation. Had Vick just told the truth from the begining, and cooperated with authorities, chances are he would have served a lesser sentence, and today Vick could be starting for some team instead of still being a backup. But this shouldn't suprise anyone that "Ron Mexico" would do something like this. As for Plaxico Burress when he accidently shot himself he went to the hostipal and called himself Harris Smith in the hostpital. This lead to confusion over who he actually was, and the fact was the NYPD did not learn about the incident until they saw it on television. Had Plaxico had just admitted who he was in the hospital and cooperated with police from the start then perhaps his sentence would not have been so bad. Lying may seem like the best solution in the short run, but in the age we live in today the truth will eventually come out. So don't be Pinocchio. Tell the truth.
Rule 21: In the Few Days Before a Season Starts Don't Go Out...Wait Until You Get That First Win
This rule is especially true if your team stinks. Case in point the Buffalo Bills. Let's call this the Lee Evans rule. The weekend before the Bills Monday Night season opener at New England Lee Evans was out in Fredonia with Eric Moulds. That's fine for Moulds. He's retired, he can do what he pleases. But this is quite different for Evans. Evans is an overated player on a lousy team. No reason for him to be out in Fred two days before the season starts. When Brett approached him about this concept that faithful Saturday night Evans blew off that concept. The Bills would go on to lose that Monday Night to the Patriots. I am not saying had he not gone out the Bills would have won. Either way they were going to lose to New England. But it just adds to the misery of Bills fans, and the mediocrity of the franchise. It just looks bad. So right before the season starts just wait. When you win a game than go out.
Rule 22: If You Can't Play, You Can't Go Out...No Questions!!!
For some reason this hard for those who play for the Toronto Raptors to follow. When Vince Carter was with the Raptors he was out at a Nelly concert, dancing right on stage with Nelly. This while he could not play because of a supposed injury. Then last week Tornoto Raptors player Hedo Turkoglu was seen dancing and drinking at a club, while he was out in the lineup with a "stomach sickness." Both these cases lead to Tornoto Raptors fans e-mailing and calling the franchise to tattle tell on the NBA players in question. The Toronto Raptors fans would not be the only ones who would do this. Any fans, of any team would do this. Fans hate it when they see you can't play, yet you go out. This drives fans crazy and they will tell on you and your franchise will not like you for it. So the rule is simple. If you can't play, then you can't go out. No Ands, Ifs, or Buts about this one.
Rule 23: If a Championship is On the Line Stay in the Hotel Room
Stanley Wilson, the star fullback of the Super Bowl XXIII Cincinnati Bengals, was caught using cocaine in his hotel room the night before Super Bowl XXIII. He was quickly suspened for the game and never played in the league again. The night before Super Bowl XXXIII Atlanta Falcons safety Eugene Robinson was arrested for the solicitation of prostitution. Robinson tried to get a female undercover cop (who was posing as a prostitute) to have sex with him for $40. This was right after Robinson had just left a banquet in which he recieved the Bart Starr Award for his "high moral character." In the week leading up to Super Bowl XXXVII Oakland Raiders Center Barret Robbins went missing. The Super Bowl was in San Diego. Robbins ended up going to Tijuana, Mexico where he overdosed on drugs and alcohol and ended up in a hostpital. In all three cases those teams lost the Super Bowl. For Robbins and Wilson they would never play a down in the NFL again. So the lesson is clear. With a championship on the line just stay in the hotel room. Wait until after the championship to either party to celebrate the win, or drink away the misery of losing. This rule can also apply to playoff runs as well. This rule works for playoffs as well. Last baseball season the Detroit Tigers lost a three game lead in the AL Central Division race with four games to play to the Minnesota Twins. During this time Tigers best player, 1B Miguel Cabrera, "allegedly" got into an altercation with his wife, and (this part is factually true) had a blood alcohol level of .26, three times the legal limit. This proved to be a big distraction for the Tigers, and in the end the Twins won the AL Central Division in a 1 game playoff against the Tigers, and the Tigers were out of the playoffs. So with playoff births, playoff wins, or championships on the line stay at home, stay at the hotel room, and don't go out.
Rule 24: When it Doubt Ask WWTBD or WWDJD
WWTBD = What Would Tom Brady Do
WWDJD = What Would Derek Jeter Do
You don't have to like one or both of these athletes. But the fact is both these guys go out regularly and are never in trouble for it. Now it certainly helps that both are champions. But so are Big Ben and Tiger. What seperates Jeter and Brady from those two and many other athletes is the class that they bring. These two athletes follow rule #10 to a tee. They are keen to not do anything to damage their character. So if you are at the club, at the casino, at the crib, wherever and you are in a bind just think to yourself What Would Tom Brady Do and/or What Would Derek Jeter Do. If you believe those two would NOT do what you are thinking about doing than, plain and simply, don't do it. You will be happy with your decision.
Follow the lead of Tom Brady and Derek Jeter.
Do not follow the lead of Tiger Woods and Ben Roethlisberger.
Rule 25: And Above All WRAP IT UP!!!If you are only going to follow two rules than make them be rule #1 and this rule. Look your a professional athlete, and married or not chances are you are going to sleep with many different women. I'm not here to judge that, but I am here to say that for God's sake wear a condom!!! Don't trust what a woman says. Half of them are in it to try to be a "Baby Mama." Just ask Shawn Kemp who is rumored to have anywhere from 7-15 different kids with many different women. Or Travis Henry who has 9 different kids with 9 different women, and is now in jail because he failed to pay child support. Or Antonio Cromartie who has 7 different kids in 5 different states, and who the Jets recently gave him an extra $500,000, in his trade from the Chargers, to help pay for the child support. So the message is clear. WRAP IT UP!!!
Shawn Kemp, Travis Henry, and Antonio Cromartie know all to well about baby mamas!
Bonus Rule: Beware of Technology!!!
No matter where you are (whether it'd be your home, hotel, bar, car, wherever) be aware of the technology people around you have. With video, twitter, facebook, blogs, and pictures all available at people fingertips do not think for a second people won't try to capture you in a bad light. This is what Jerry Jones learned the hard way. As did Michael Phelps with his bong hit in a buddy's apartment in South Carolina. If you twitter, know that if you tweet something stupid you will get heat from the media, your team, and your league. Also be aware that if you send a text message it could go public. Just ask Tiger Woods with all his various sex text messages. So athletes be aware of what people have on them to capture you looking bad.
Phelps your on candid camera!
Kofod
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