How to lose $$$$$$

Do you like losing money? You dooooo? Well then, you missed out! You should have read my picks column last week. If you would have bet with me you would be running from your bookie this week, or begging him to give you another chance. Well my bookie isn't (too) upset with me, so I'm back at it again this week. I was roasted by the spread last week. I went 5-9-2 that puts me at 11-16-5 on the year, but since pushes are wins I'm at 16-16 on the year. .500! Whoooo!. I'm lucky I'm that high after getting my pants lit on fire last week.

*Home team in caps.
New Karma Week 3:
GIANTS -3 v. Tennessee

I'm not convinced that Vince Young is completely sane in the first place (money, fame and your depressed? practice if you think you aren't playing good) then Jeff Fischer throws his confidence off of a roof (no suicide pun intended) by pulling him early last week. Pittsburgh (the Titans opponent from last week) has a defense that seems to be much better than I thought, but CJ still had trouble moving the ball. The Giants' d-line is also tough, (although their LB's aren't) so I just don't think the Titans can score enough points. Giants -3.

PATS -14.5 v. Buffalo

Well a 13 point spread wasn't nearly enough for A Rodg and co. last week (thank god 30 was) and historically the Pats have bent the Bills over and put up points on them, but that is usually in Ralph Wilson Stadium. Weird right? So this week I'm going with the Bills to cover (GOD HELP ME). Bills +14.5

RAVENS -10.5 v Browns

The Ravens need a win, and who is more perfect to beat up on than the Cleveland Browns (yes, I know the Bills are worse). Timing is everything. Ravens -10.5.

Steelers -2.5 v. TAMPA BAY

Okay, so I missed on the Bucs last week, but I am still not going with them. They aren't better than the Falcons and they aren't better than the Titans. Steelers -2.5.

Cincinnati -3 v. CAROLINA

As long as the Bengals of last week reappear than this should be an easy win. Clausen will throw 2 INTS (at least). Bengals -3.

SAINTS -4 v. Atlanta

The Saints scraped by a talented, but not yet together 49ers team last week, and as champs do I expect them to sneak by again. I'm still not buying the Falcons, but I am buying the spread. Atlanta +4.

San Fran -3 v. KANSAS CITY

Arrowhead is a tough place to play....BUUUT Matt Cassel still can't throw and the 49ers are much stronger against the run (read: Patrick Willis) than they get credit for. San Fran -3.

MINNESOTA -11 v. Detroit

In back to back weeks the old fart has burnt me and blown the last two games (literally and spread wise). So I can't in good conscious go with him again. Detroit is getting better. Detroit +11.

HOUSTON -2.5 v. Dallas

Houston needed a late TD from Andre Johnson to beat the Redskins last week. I love AJ and company, but this is the must win of must wins for the Cowboys. I've missed by underestimating Houston before and probably will this week, but Dallas +2.5.

Washington -3.5 v. RAMS

I took the damn Rams week one and I knew better. Won't do it again until the time is right. Washington -3.5.

Philly -2.5. v. JAGS

So let's see here. Philly loses to Green Bay, then barely defeats the Lions last week. MIKE VICK IS THE GREATEST EVER! Ummm, no. While he is playing well, guess what? The defense isn't. I don't understand how that is going overlooked. The Lions scored 32! With a backup! With a rookie RB! I just wanted to point that out. I'm still taking the Eagles anyway. I just want people to realize. Eagles -2.5.

Indy -5.5 v. DENVER

Kyle Orton has been playing well (in terms of fantasy scoring), but guess what this isn't fantasy. Indy -5.5.

San Diego -5.5 v. SEATTLE

San Diego made the Jags look like kittens last week and I think they will make the Seahawks look like Seagulls this week. Charges -5.5.

ARIZONA -4.5 v. Oakland

Has anyone else noticed that I have taken the favorite all but twice and one of them was the Bills, which means I'm just an idiot. Yeah, me too. Oakland +4.5.

MIAMI -2 v. Jets

Well I underrated the overrated Jets last week. (What does that even mean?) So, I'm stuck this week. I think that Miami is just catching all the brakes. (Ex. LAST WEEK, how many times could the Vikings turn the ball over or get stopped in the red zone????) Is that a sign of a good team or is it luck? Well, I think their luck runs out this week. With or without Revis the Dolphins haven't impressed me in the passing game. Jets +2.

Green Bay -3 v. CHICAGO

Is Green Bay's defense good? Is Chicago's defense good? Neither team has really shown me much. That said the Bears should have lost to the Lions (read: did lose if not for Calvin Johnson being an idiot). So I have to take the Pack. Green Bay -3.