World Cup Group Preview

Imagine 32 beautiful girls (sexy guys for you ladies) standing in front of you. Some are better looking than others, but each has a outstanding qualities. Now you can chose one and only one. That is what picking a World Cup Winner is like. It is similiar to selecting an NCAA bracket, but more difficult because these teams don't play together as much and chemistry can be a huge factor (possibly England). Also you could have the best player in the World, but if no one else steps up then it won't matter (possibly Argentina). Chosing a winner is like throwing 32 darts at a dartboard, but some are weighted. That is why I will just do the groups for now.

Group A: South Africa, Uruguay, Mexico and France.

The home country is going home early for the first time in history. I would love to see the South Africans and their star Steven Pienaar or the Uruguayans (or whatever they are called) advance past the dirty, cheating French and the plain dirty Mexicans (shout out to Raul Gonzalez wherever he is). In reality however, Mexico and France will advance. Mexico has Giovanni Dos Santos and of course Blanco, who is practically a deity South of the Border although he is 37. The French will also advance and it's not just because they like underage girls. I'm sure in France hooking up with underage prostitutes makes Franck Ribery a star, but he also happens to be a hell of a player. The guy is about 80 percent of the player Zinide Zidane, which is just enough to help them advance. Also watch the dirty, cheater himself Thierry Henry and Nicolas Analka, who may be their best player.

Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, Korea Republic, Greece.

While it is tough to discount Nigeria it will be Argentina and Greece that come out of Group B. For Argentina it is one word Messi. He is currently the best player in the world (in my opinion and in the opinion of many others). Argentina also has forward Carlos Tevez, who is very solid and will have a nice coming out party in this world cup if the team can win. Greece will be the other team out of this group. Greece is a slow-tempo boring defensive team, but there style can be tough to match up against because most of the best players in the world like to get out and run and Greece goes for possession and defense.

Group C: England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia.

England v. USA will be the biggest game in US soccer history or damn near close to it. Some pro's for the US squad is the fact that they are young and athletic and have Jozy Altidore. His big body could cause problems for the English. Landon Donovan played out of his mind in his short stint with Everton. If he can continue that look out. Plus the Americans have a top five goalie in Tim Howard.

Sadly though, the Three lions (that's the nickname for the English) will win. The USA's defensive squad is all banged up and Ashley Cole, England's excellent defender, will be following around Altidore and Donovan. Not to mention the fact that Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard are all in contract years with their club teams. Big World Cup goals translates into big dollars.

England should and will win the group and I have the US coming in second, but do NOT overlook Algeria and especially Slovenia. They are both tough hard-nosed teams, but Slovenia is coming off a huge qualifying win over Russia in which Zlatko Dedic scored the biggest goal in Slovenia's history. The match between Slovenia and the US will be crucial. If the USA can't pull out a win they will be headed home early.

Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia and Ghana.

You should never ever, ever count out the Germans whether they look old and slow or they have minimal star power, because that is when they will beat the hell out of you and steal a win. With Michael Ballack look for Lucas Podolski and the German's career leading goal scorer and Ryan Schupp's favorite player Miroslav Klose to come up big. I'm not sure who will be the other team to come out of the group, but Serbia has Nemanja Vidic on D. He is a beast on the pitch. I picked him up on my World Cup fantasy team and the Manchester U fans have a chant for him that goes something like this. Nemanja.... Nemanja....He's from Serbiaaa and he'll fucking murder ya. It's awesome to say the least. With that said look for Ghana to pull some home continent heroics.

Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan and Cameroon.

The Dutch are favorites to win the whole damn tournament in some peoples mind and I definitely think they will advance past the group. There skill up front is amazing. With Arjen Robben (who is a bit beat up with a hamstring injury, but should be fine if the Netherlands can get out of the group) Wesley Sneijder, Robin Van Paarse and Rafael Van der Vaart, and Nicolas Bendtner the Dutch team is stacked. They all play for major English clubs, but the issue once again is chemistry. The Dutch team often bicker worse than Spencer and Heidi Pratt (who are soon to be divorced and hopefully Spencer drowns).

The key match will be Cameroon and Denmark on June 19th. The winner will advance along with the Dutch. I have my odds on Cameroon and Samuel Eto'o. Anyone who has ever played a FIFA game knows that Eto'o is a gifted goal scorer.

Group F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovokia.

This has to be the weakest group in the tournament. The experienced (AKA old ass) Italian team will find a way to advance, but it likely won't be pretty. The goal keeper Gianluigi Buffon will play a clutch role in the Italians winning the group. If he plays anything like he did in 2006 they will be fine.

I have no idea, who will win between the other three, but New Zealand is called the All Whites and while that's allwhite with me it may not be with many of the African fans. Plus they can't handle the conditions. I'm gonna just guess and chose Paraguay.

Group G: Brazil, Korea DPR, Cote d'Ivoire, and Portugal.

Group G is stacked like Lucy Pinder. I'm taking Brazil, but stranger things have happened. The Brazilians won't be play their typical Joga Bonito (play beautiful) this year or at least not as much. They kept Ronaldinho off the team for a stronger defensive mid-field but with names like Kaka (who is the opposite of doo doo), Maicion, Dani Alves, and Luis Fabiano still expect the Brazilians to score a ton of goals.

Korea DPR (AKA North Korea) has a player named Jong-Tae Se. He has promised a goal a game. I don't see it happening. Cote d'Ivoire (AKA the Ivory Coast) could make a run, but it all rests on the arm of Didier Drogba, who led the English Premier league in goals this season. Portugal has the fabulous Cristiano Ronaldo, Deco and Simao. Second place in this league will be better than half the teams in the tourney. At gun-point I'm going with Portugal. I would take Ivory Coast, but defenders will try to hammer Drogba's broken wing.

Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, and Chile.

Espania is so loaded with talent it is almost unreal. Xavi, Fernando Torres (on of my favorite players), David Villa, Xabi Alonso, Cesc Fàbregas, Pique, Carles Puyol, and the list goes on and on. This team should win it all or at least make the final. I think they will choke at some point. I mean the US beat them, but they will win the group.

As for a number 2 (who...does...number 2 work....for) I will take the winner of the Swiss v. Chile game, which will be Chile. Which will make non-Italian Snooki from the Jersey Shore very happy. Matias Fernandez, Alexis Sanchez and Humberto Suazo will help the Chileans advance.

Early Finals pick: Brazil v. Netherlands.